The Saboteur, the Eclipse, and Life Review
Originally Published on my Patreon Page…
October 2, 2024
October is my birthday month! And as such, every year I do a simple life review. Basically all month long my inner self guides me to self reflect. This comes easy for me during my birthday month, not so easy in the month of January where most people perform this task. This is an artist account and I’m questioning sharing what I’m about to share. Yet, I’ve found that to be creative, I’ve had so much inner clean up to do!
I started using Leonie Dawson’s Life Workbooks many years ago. When I started my intention was to bring into reality this vision of a different life (a life that is only coming about now). So I bought the workbooks and immediately I was stuck not knowing what to set as a goal or if I set a goal, I was stuck not knowing the steps to attain that goal, or I set the goal, wrote the steps and never made the time to take action. Still I did not give up, I bought the workbooks every year. I’ve shared my transition journey in past posts. And because of a strange coincidence between yesterday and today, I decided to share what finally clicked and allowed me to step by step, make progress, and begin accomplishing the goals that I wrote down.
What clicked? being completely truthful with myself. I must write that before this inner click, I wasn’t purposely lying to myself. No. My problem was with how I organized myself. Once I fixed that organization issue (I’ve shared some of this in past posts), I had to face that my life (time, energy and focus) was not aligned with my goals, there wasn’t room for my dream goals at all. And worse, my goals did not include anything related to my day to day life. Alignment was in order, but this could not happen unless I admitted first that I wasn’t living a life that I wanted to live. Like an equation, I could see that if I continued to fill my days the way I had for years, no change would happen. In the workbook, there is a page for “invoking the new year” and one of the lines asks for “what I want to let go of this year.” I’ve attached a screen shot of what I wrote for this year 2024. When I wrote these in January, it was not apparent that I had been sabotaging myself for years. And for years, part of this self sabotage included disregarding this question or section.
So, what prompted me to write this post or what was this coincidence? Last night, it was unavoidable to come across videos on YouTube (I always listen while I clean, etc) about today’s Eclipse in Libra, my sign. Turns out this deep inner clean up was due, was part of, was prompted even, by the eclipses in Libra that began last year. According to google: “This is the last eclipse in Libra on the Aries-Libra axis. There have been eclipses on this axis since 2023, so people might be witnessing a significant evolution since then.” It’s been a while since I paid attention to astrology. And I feel like I have been turned inside out for this evolution, the lessons have been huge! But I’m here to share mainly that this year’s review is for the first time highly satisfying. I can assert I’m living a life that I love and every step that I take counts towards making my dreams a reality in the day to day. Without ignoring or sacrificing the day to day. In the past (before 2020), if thrown the same curve ball, I would have taken action, but internally prayed and wished for a miracle (that was my mindset) and miracles exist, I've experienced them, but mainly I would have been an example of “grin and bear it.” And that “bear it” part blocks other easier, softer, kinder towards self, possibilities. My #1 lesson since 2020 has been “acceptance” of those things I cannot change or is not up to me to change or even ask for a miracle; because if I did I would be interfering with the choices and lessons of another soul. Best I can do is be there for them 100%. My #2 lesson (but not less important) has been to “change” all of those things that are within my power to change and to learn that I have more power than I imagined. Understanding this difference has helped me save energy for my projects. I learned without energy and focus, I cannot move my own life forward. And without moving my own life forward I cannot be that support for my loved ones.
I still believe in miracles. They happen. I experience miracles often. I have faith. Until next time!
PS - As you can see I’m bilingual, sorry for not translating #2 and #3 of my attachment. But maybe google it if you’re curious. I should have also listed something about money, but the thought keeps hiding or does not want to be seen yet. These saboteurs can be sneaky.
Also, I have published a couple of new illustrations, the first is my own illustrated version of a spooky vampire, and the second, some patterns of past illustrations. You can find them on Instagram, Pinterest to view and Society6, Redbubble and Spoonflower for sale! I’m excited.